she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
They have beer where we have blood.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think I just sharted jello shots
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