there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
