Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
