Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sorry about my life...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
