You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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