you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
As shirtless as possible
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
