You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
