Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
