Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
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