I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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