It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
