I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
