Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
