She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
