The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
