I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
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