Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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