i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
