Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
