Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize