What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
