Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
