Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
