Who wears a wallet chain?!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
