Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize