i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
