He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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