and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
