I feel like abortions should bother me more
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
