Banned from zoo.
Again?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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