The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I AM VODKA MAN
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
