I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
