You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
one might say we're banned from that church
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
