Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
