It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
