hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize