he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
