pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
