i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
