Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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