Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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