I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
