chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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