Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Michael Bay diarrhea
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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