Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
