what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
