if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
