is your mom at the bar?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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