My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
