planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
