For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
