Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
