Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
