you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
