drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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