lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
