I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
