If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
