I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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