Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
