I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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