I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
