would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
