how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
