how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize