PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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